EternalSolaceEssence

Black joy is electrifyingly beautiful, beautifully intense, intensely spiritual, spiritually cleansing. Makes you feel life is worth living. Black joy... black joy... where did you go black joy? Uplift your soul. Be love. And be wild. And be peace. And be war. All of it makes black joy so tangible. So heart palpitatingly transcendent. Transpiring from soul to soul, lights your face with a glow. You never know happiness until you see the exuberance of a disenfranchised body move jubilantly. Even though it be brief, like all things, tidal...transitory... the rapture is exhilaration at its highest peak. Black joy. Come back black joy. Come back

It doesn't matter how clear things are set out. No matter how many times (s)he protests, objects, holds the line of defense... The truth is that the desires of the heart arise at the most inopportune, frantic moments. It starts with appreciation. The connection. Then comes the longing. The heart casually ruins platitudes of restriction, disassociation, and numbness with the surfacing realization, the sting of the heart that no longer just beats, but beats in love. Beating in love for the person whom (s)he solemnly swore to never fall in love with. Like a stone tossed into the riverbed, (s)he sinks to the bottom. They say to (s)he, logic is

There's nothing and nowhere but a downward spiral from here. Your kindness_ makes me warm inside. Your thinly veiled pessimism_ makes me laugh. Your smile_ somehow makes me feel immensely happy. Your laugh_ so full makes me smile. You body_ makes me weak with desire. Your humor_ makes my tummy ache with laughter. The sound of your voice_ makes my heart race, just knowing you're near to me. And your eyes, your eyes_ always seem to be digging into my heart and soul. And when you look at me when you think I'm not looking, you make me feel adored and adorned with tangible love. I love your eyes on me. The way they roam over my head as you put y

I pray for you. I pray for you. I prayed for you, hm... that just won't do. I would say "I prayed for you," but I'd be lying because I still do. I pray for you. For you. For you for me. Not just for you. I pray you for me.

This is where dreams come to die a fiery death. Tumbling from the top of my head, down to my heart and out of my chest. Exploding like a Molotov cocktail. The fire makes fast ruin of what was and soon there's nothing but ash. The good wind takes care of sweeping away from me what was. Now, it all lies in the past. Let go and let live. This is living. And this is loving.

Used up. All used up. Drunk up. All drunk up. The last time I loved, I used all of it. I ripped down my own walls. Smothered my own hesitation. Cut off my own head of withdrawal and tossed it in. Curbed my anxiety. And lightened my overanalyzations. Prayed the vast hole in my wall that led to my heart and mind wouldn't be taken for granted. The love that came out escaped me. Untethered. It's escaped permanently in everything it was and wasn't. Everything that could have been, I hope it was. I lost it and it won't come back. It can't come back. Cause I've refortified my walls and NOTHING gets in. And NOTHING gets out. What's lost is lost.

Feel like you just found all the world's riches. Roam over my brown and black mounds of flesh. Stroke sensually. Inside my plush. Push. The agony of a pleasure so distinct. Marvel at the depth of this. Entangle yourself with me. Brown and black on brown and black. A beautiful violence of creatures. Inhale the sweet exhalations of passionate moans. Lay your hand aside my face as the rhythms merge and evolve. One. And kiiiisss meeeee. Plummeting in synchronicity. Bodies creating effortlessly harmonious reciprocity. Twist of face and growl. Beautifully. How perfectly these black and browns meet. These black and brown bodies.

Why can't I stop crying? The run of warm tears down my cheeks. Why do I weep? I feel freer than I've felt in quite some time. Free of you. Why does my soul cry? It's supposed to be glorious. I felt my feelings for you escape me. Abandoned. Why does my heart stir with this emotion? The parting of your engrained image in my brain, Singed and tattooed. Why do I sob? I can't stop. Is my heart sad? Am I sad? Sad to have lost you. Sad to not have been treasured. Sad that you found me unsuitable for us to be we. Or am I slowly building to rage? What is this thing? What are these feelings? Why does the parting of old feelings b